Steven and Robbie

“It was love at first sight, the best feeling ever!” That’s the verdict from second time adopters Steven and Robbie, who adopted both of their children through Early Permanence.

Early Permanence is a route to adoption that allows a child to be cared for by approved adopters who would foster the child in the first instance while a plan for their future is still to be agreed by the courts.

When Steven and Robbie first met, they both knew straight away that the relationship was right and they also knew they wanted a family of their own. Robbie said: “We talked about children on our first date! So our relationship had the same goals, but to be honest at the beginning we just Googled a bit.”

In 2019 they decided the time was right for them and started the process after attending an information event.

Robbie said: “We were assigned our fabulous social worker – but then along came lockdown! However, Covid didn’t stop us building a really good relationship with her, and in some ways, it worked better because we could just jump on Teams and didn’t have to book well in advance to speak.”

The couple agreed that the crucial thing was to be honest, with themselves and with their social worker: Steven told us: “There are two things you need during this process – honesty and open mindedness. It’s not an easy process, but it is worth it. We didn’t know what to expect during the process, but it brought us closer as a couple.

“I’d recommend adoption to everyone. The initial phone call is the hardest. There’s always an element of doubt, but no one wants to you to fail, they want to help you and want what is best for the child”.

The couple had been warned that they would be unlikely to get a baby – but their matching process didn’t quite run to plan: “In our minds we had become fully prepared to welcome a slightly older child, maybe 18 months old, into our family,” Robbie said, “We completed the adoption process and just 24 hours after being approved at the panel meeting, Josh* was born.

“That was a mad time. Due to Covid restrictions, we weren’t able to visit him together, but the hospital staff were amazing. We also had our families on hand, so we felt a lot more confident about caring for him.”

The journey was more emotional for the couple because they chose to adopt via early permanence, but it didn’t put them off and they came back to Adopt Coast to Coast when they were ready to grow their family. Steven explained: “I grew up with a sibling and loved having them around so we really wanted Josh to have someone too. We decided the time was right and we started the process again and were matched with Samantha*, a new-born baby girl.

“Life as a family of four has been easier, you know what to expect having done it a first time. The second time you often do things differently and don’t worry about things as much. Samantha is very resilient and doesn’t seem to be phased by coughs and colds so we’ve noticed its different in that way too.

When asked how life has changed since adopting their family, Steven said: “Life is very busy, Josh* is at an age when he’s going to football, starting school and Samantha* goes to childcare so it’s very busy, but we wouldn’t change it”.

You can find out more about Early Permanence and watch an animated video on our what is adoption page.

Find out more

If you think you could provide a safe and loving home for a child or children, please complete our enquiry form here or email us at adoptcoasttocoast@durham.gov.uk

Read more of our adoption stories on our ‘Our Children, our families‘ pages and watch our videos on our YouTube channel.

*names have been changed and photos are stock for illustrative purposes only.